It's hard enough to get out there, then you have to deal with weather, an uncooperative body, clothing malfunctions and... other runners.
I've wanted to post about running pet peeves for a while now and I swear I'm not a curmudgeon, so I’ll balance out my karma by posting something positive next time. In the meantime, let’s be bitchy.
Shall we?
1. The Middle-Aged Running Posse
Stereotyping is bad sometimes, but let’s face it, this group is overly fond of sorbet coloured workout clothes, beading and group activities.
And who can blame them? Running in a group can be so motivational. No one gets left behind, the slowest person is kind of like the group mascot and everyone gets to whine and moan to a sympathetic audience. Gosh, a running posse is so great I can’t think of any drawbacks!
Oh wait. There is one teensy, tiny little problem with the Middle-Aged Running Posse. If you’re not one of them, good luck getting around them. This group runs four abreast and enjoy togetherness so much they resemble searchers sweeping the trail for a body, more than they do a running group. When you shout, “On your left,” they just can’t stand to be apart for even a second to let other, faster runners pass.
I've wanted to post about running pet peeves for a while now and I swear I'm not a curmudgeon, so I’ll balance out my karma by posting something positive next time. In the meantime, let’s be bitchy.
Shall we?
1. The Middle-Aged Running Posse
Stereotyping is bad sometimes, but let’s face it, this group is overly fond of sorbet coloured workout clothes, beading and group activities.
And who can blame them? Running in a group can be so motivational. No one gets left behind, the slowest person is kind of like the group mascot and everyone gets to whine and moan to a sympathetic audience. Gosh, a running posse is so great I can’t think of any drawbacks!
Oh wait. There is one teensy, tiny little problem with the Middle-Aged Running Posse. If you’re not one of them, good luck getting around them. This group runs four abreast and enjoy togetherness so much they resemble searchers sweeping the trail for a body, more than they do a running group. When you shout, “On your left,” they just can’t stand to be apart for even a second to let other, faster runners pass.
2. No one told me there was a casting call for the latest Lulu Lemon Ad Campaign!
Nothing is worse than crawling out of bed, scraping my hair back into a pony, pulling on some faded, smelly clothes and hitting the trails only to come upon beautifully turned out runners with long, bouncy ponytails, shorty shorts and the unmistakable scent of deodorant.
Who are these people? Did they come from the future? A future without cellulite and perspiration, where everyone is always freshly showered and they have toned legs that actually look great in running shoes?
If so, please tell me where the time machine is, I’m ready to embrace the future.
3. Sniping
We’re in a race. You have had 2, 5, 8 or 12 kilometers to pass me. Now, when we’re at the finish line, you look over at me with an ugly gleam in your eye and tell your kid, “Come on, we can do it. Let’s beat her!”
Fine. You win. You crossed two seconds before me. But really, I win. Cuz you’re still a douchebag.
4.The Gel-Pack Fanny-Belt for a 5 KM Race Guy
Really? Do you bring a fully loaded camping bag for your evening dog walk, too?
5. The Slow Lady who insists on starting in the sub 50 section of a 10K race
You take an hour and twenty minutes to finish and you mess up my time because I have to get around you and the nattering members of your middle-aged running posse at the start of every race.
If we all at least tried to start in a realistic estimation of our time to finish, then we’d all probably finish even faster because we wouldn’t have to climb over the people who are slower…. Just sayin’.
6. The Filth Pig
DON’T THROW YOUR GEL PACK or WATER BOTTLE ON THE GROUND DURING A RACE. You’re not that special just because you can run a sub 120. Also, I know it’s a race, and I know you’ve been training hard because you're starting to resemble Skelator but DO NOT PISS IN PUBLIC. Ever.
7. The Self-Righteous Runner
The truth is, I really am not too bothered by other people doing their thing. It's a pain in the ass for a minute, but I can put up with most anything and I have been guilty of a few things on the list when I was newer, tired or zoned out. (Especially the part about looking like a supermodel, happens all the time.) But my biggest pet peeve? The self-righteous runner!
They sneer at low(er) mileage runners and their efforts. They scoff at sneakers bought at chain stores. They glare at dogs on off-leash running trails. You tell them you ran four times last week, they one up you and say they ran four half marathons last week, barefoot, no Ipod, with a head cold.
So what are YOUR pet peeves perpetrated by other runners?
Nothing is worse than crawling out of bed, scraping my hair back into a pony, pulling on some faded, smelly clothes and hitting the trails only to come upon beautifully turned out runners with long, bouncy ponytails, shorty shorts and the unmistakable scent of deodorant.
Who are these people? Did they come from the future? A future without cellulite and perspiration, where everyone is always freshly showered and they have toned legs that actually look great in running shoes?
If so, please tell me where the time machine is, I’m ready to embrace the future.
3. Sniping
We’re in a race. You have had 2, 5, 8 or 12 kilometers to pass me. Now, when we’re at the finish line, you look over at me with an ugly gleam in your eye and tell your kid, “Come on, we can do it. Let’s beat her!”
Fine. You win. You crossed two seconds before me. But really, I win. Cuz you’re still a douchebag.
4.The Gel-Pack Fanny-Belt for a 5 KM Race Guy
Really? Do you bring a fully loaded camping bag for your evening dog walk, too?
5. The Slow Lady who insists on starting in the sub 50 section of a 10K race
You take an hour and twenty minutes to finish and you mess up my time because I have to get around you and the nattering members of your middle-aged running posse at the start of every race.
If we all at least tried to start in a realistic estimation of our time to finish, then we’d all probably finish even faster because we wouldn’t have to climb over the people who are slower…. Just sayin’.
6. The Filth Pig
DON’T THROW YOUR GEL PACK or WATER BOTTLE ON THE GROUND DURING A RACE. You’re not that special just because you can run a sub 120. Also, I know it’s a race, and I know you’ve been training hard because you're starting to resemble Skelator but DO NOT PISS IN PUBLIC. Ever.
7. The Self-Righteous Runner
The truth is, I really am not too bothered by other people doing their thing. It's a pain in the ass for a minute, but I can put up with most anything and I have been guilty of a few things on the list when I was newer, tired or zoned out. (Especially the part about looking like a supermodel, happens all the time.) But my biggest pet peeve? The self-righteous runner!
They sneer at low(er) mileage runners and their efforts. They scoff at sneakers bought at chain stores. They glare at dogs on off-leash running trails. You tell them you ran four times last week, they one up you and say they ran four half marathons last week, barefoot, no Ipod, with a head cold.
So what are YOUR pet peeves perpetrated by other runners?
